I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
