i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
