yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
