I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
