tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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