He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
