the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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