They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
