i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
