then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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