ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
