Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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