He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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