bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
