I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
