Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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