She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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