I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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