My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
