i think my tv is drunk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
