if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
