just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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