i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
