I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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