stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
