i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
