I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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