I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
