I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
