Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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