All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
