You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You need a sexual gate keeper
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
