Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
