she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
