cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
