Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
