Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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