Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
