Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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