just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
