oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize