I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
