Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
