At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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