dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
