You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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