Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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