i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
