***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
