honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
