I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
