After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
