How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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