well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
