She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
