I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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