Your tits are I can't wait for
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
